We started with when I was young, but I think it took me up until recently to gain the perspective I have now. When I got out of my abusive relationship all of my fears (and quite honestly dislikes) about men were magnified. I was hyperaware of every look and comment, I was repulsed by the way I was treated in public, and I obsessed over all the instances I had let go in the past. It was like my eyes were just opening to the inequality that had been surrounding me for my whole life. I became so incredibly angry: about all the comments that had been made to me at work, about the way the men looked at me at the gym, about the way society teaches us about women, about all the men that abuse their power, about the fact that I wanted answers from conversations that no one was having, about everything.
As I sit here and write to you I feel thankful for that anger. It gave me passion. It’s the reason I write to you, the reason I started learning, and the reason I’m on the path I am now. I’m well aware of the system - the structural inequality and the inevitable discrimination we will face simply for being women. As I learn more and prepare to enter a career in women’s advocacy, I’ve decided to do my best to take a head-on approach. You stare at me, I stare back, I hope it makes you feel uncomfortable. I stand by my opinions. I’m proud of what I think. I’m done avoiding the things that make me feel small, I’m learning how to be big.
I think the biggest part of that was when I started sharing my opinions. I stopped feeling like the abuse I went through was something to be ashamed about. I stopped being afraid to say when I didn’t like something. I stopped feeling like my thoughts were worth something less than anyone else’s. I mentioned last week how brutal it is to realize you’re living in a man’s world, but this week I'm telling you how liberating it is to learn that the world doesn't dictate the way we live our lives.
While men receive innate systemic power, the power we have we get to define ourselves. The battles we fight, the discrimination we overcome, and the lessons we are forced to learn the hard way… they all belong to us. These things men are handed, we get to be proud of our fight for. A change of perspective doesn't fix hundreds of years of systemic issues, but it can fix the way they affect us. The more we stand up and the more we fight back, the less power that system has. I don’t have the answer to changing the world, but I know that together we have the power to encourage a generation of strong and powerful women. Making a change is about recognizing our fight, sharing our stories, and understanding the issues… so get angry, stand up, and be proud of everything you’ve worked for; I’m right there with you.