This month we dove deep, and I know a lot of our conversations have been heavy. I appreciate you coming on this journey through womanhood with me, and providing me with a space to share my opinions, my personal experiences, and my deepest secrets. This week we are doing a “for the girls” exclusive episode on the Dear MK podcast; I decided to save all the niche happenings, icks, and just girly things for then. I want to take this week’s blog to express my gratitude and tell a little more of my story.
As I told you a few weeks ago, my first job was as a lifeguard. I am coming up on six years as a guard and three years teaching/coaching swimming. I absolutely love it. It kind of broke my heart when I realized that one day that job would end. I came to college and knew I loved to write but didn’t like journalism or advertising and didn’t want to pursue creative writing. I just felt stuck; I felt like I didn't care enough about anything. I like writing and cats and going to the gym and cooking and teaching kids how to swim, but none of those are a career.
Enduring abuse was the worst experience of my life, but I think it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I see my future clearly; I feel like I have passion and purpose. But most importantly, I am so incredibly proud of the woman I see when I look in the mirror. When I was growing up my dad used to tell me that that was the only thing that mattered: that at the end of the day, you can look at yourself and know that you are a good person. I feel so accomplished and so proud that I have been able to reach that point so early in my life.
I look at my reflection and I see a girl who is so strong, and who has the potential to make a genuine difference. All I used to see were the invisible marks of my abuser; I was sad and exhausted and had his handprints all over me. My first piece of published writing was a poem about no longer being able to recognize who I saw in the mirror. Now I have a blog published every week with a strong voice and clear opinions. I never look in the mirror anymore and see my abuser. I never look in the mirror anymore and wish I was seeing a different version of myself.
I want to thank you for all the support you have shown me, and all the support you show the young girl I used to be. Thank you for listening to my stories about her, and thank you for letting me grow enough to leave her behind. A part of me will always wish to be a lifeguard forever, but now a part of me is going to wish to sit down and write this blog to you forever. I know I have a lot more growing to do, and with that growth will come change, but I want to say that I am forever grateful for the space I have here. I look forward to the future and I look forward to growing alongside you, and am so honored that no matter how much changes I will always be K.
Thank you Dear MK readers. I’ll see you next week ;)
Comments